If there’s one complaint I hear most often from brides, it’s that their fiancé doesn’t seem to care about the details of the wedding. Now before I continue, I realize that this is not true of ALL grooms to be, but we’re just talking about majorities here.

The rationalization of this is simple: while your hubby to be has consciously made the decision to spend the rest of the life with you, quite often they feel like they picked out the ring, planned the proposal, and now it’s your turn.

Also unlike us ladies, the men in our lives haven’t been planning their wedding day since they were 5. While we were pretending to marry our neighbors little brother, they were off shooting Nerf guns and racing Hot Wheels.

You want your fiancé to be a part of this whole experience with you, rather than just assuming that you want to do it all yourself. Because while planning a wedding is exciting and fun, it’s also stressful— and you could really use all the help you can get! And if this is a celebration of the two of you, it only makes sense that you're both involved in the process.

Based on this, I’ve compiled a list of a few suggestions for getting the guys more involved and in turn, taking a bit off of your to do list.

1. Have them rank their top 3 wedding day priorities.

This is something that if you have booked with me, you will notice that I ask both the bride and groom to do. Even if your budget is $100K you still have a budget, so it’s very important to know what’s the most important to each of you before proceeding with booking vendors and spending money willy nilly.

For example, if your #1 priority is wedding photos, but the flower quote that you received is going to total 1/3 of your whole budget and neither of you even care about flowers— maybe it’s time to rethink those Pinterest-perfect arrangements, and instead look to allocating that money elsewhere.

I think it’s SO important to get the groom’s insight on this, because if it’s something he cares about, he’s going to be that much more likely to step up and help with doing some additional research to ensure you get the best goal.

FUN FACT: About 1/5 of our inquiries for planning services actually come from the groom, rather than the bride!

2. Let them pick their looks.