I read a quote a few months ago and there was a line in it that truly stuck with me. It said this,
"Woman was created from man's rib, but not all ribs were created to fit every woman. Just because God has placed a man in your life, does not mean that they are the right one for you, so you should not feel obligated to stay with someone who will never be the right fit."
I absolutely loved this, and when I was going through my separation, it was something that truly resonated with me.
When I was dating my ex, I gravitated towards the notion of opposites attract because that’s precisely what we were— opposites.
I am a grandma who likes to be in bed by 10:00; he would stay up til 3am. I love to read and travel; he loved to play video games and stay home. I like to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner; he preferred to drink heavily into the wee hours of the morning.
Now before I continue, let me address two things: 1) I don’t believe that you have to be perfectly in sync to be a successful couple. 2) I do still believe that within reason, opposites attract.
However, there is something beautiful in a couple that is able to have separate interests and can still come together as a unit and see eye to eye on the subjects that matter most.
Someone who shares your taste in music, religious views, and general outlook on life. Someone who can be independent, but who recognizes that they are stronger as a unit. Someone that can be trusted to guard your heart, and will love you even when the crazy shows— because y’all, we’ve all got a set of crazy eyes.
Relationships can be complicated and are certainly a lot of work, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be hard.
That is not to say that you will always be on the same page, but you do have to make sure you’re at least working on the same book!
There is nothing wrong with admitting that things are not panning out the way that you hoped they would. This is your life and your story to write. You do not need to listen to what others think and ‘keep up with the Jones’, just because you don’t want to admit defeat. Sometimes the greatest triumphs come from the darkest chapters.
Rachel Hollis says “you can’t please everyone— there are some people in this world that don’t even like Beyonce, and she’s doing just fine!” Y’all. I felt that. In the same way that you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole or force someone to like Beyonce if they only listen to Italian opera.
The Bible calls us to not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers, and while I know that line of thinking is intended for friends and family alike, I believe that it is certainly true for partners as well.
I guess what I’m saying is ‘hold out for who shares the same brand of weird as you’— and when you find them, remember to thank God for the times he brought you through that allowed you to be someone else’s perfect fit.