The Planner Becomes the Bride

September 12, 2018

Now when people ask this, I know the answer that they expect.  They want me to say that everything about our wedding planning process was flawless because they are entrusting me with THEIR big day, which they want to be flawless.  But here is the honest truth-- our planning process had just as many if not MORE bumps in the road than most of the brides that I work with. The difference, my darlings, is all in how you handle it.

 

To give you an example, our sweet adorable youngest dog Lola decided to eat my veil a few months before our big day.  That’s right, I said that my puppy ATE MY WEDDING VEIL. I would love to lie to you and say that I totally kept my cool when I walked into the house after yet another trip to Hobby Lobby, to find my $300 gorgeous hunk of tulle in shreds throughout our living room.  Now before you say well you should have hung it up, why wasn’t it in a garment bag, or something else of the sort-- it was. My ninja puppy knocked down said garment bag, pulled out said $300 veil through the top of the bag, and proceeded to shred it-- all while surrounded by about 12 apparently boring dog toys.  Yea. Needless to say, I wasn’t so calm, cool, and collected in the moment. However, we know an absolutely amazing seamstress who volunteered to re-craft me a new veil based on pictures of the original, so I didn’t have to go out and buy the veil again.

 

This was not the only bump in the road we encountered along the way.  During the course of our engagement, one of the members of our wedding party stepped down, about 20 invitations never got delivered, a wedding vendor wanted to back out 5 weeks before the wedding, our bartender had a death in the family the week of the wedding, one of our dogs got promoted to flower girl, and when I got out of the car at the ceremony prepared to walk down the aisle, I learned that my wedding band was 20 minutes away.  

 

My point in sharing all of this is not to make you nervous, but to let you know that you’re not alone.  Planning a wedding is stressful and, unless you’re like me, you will hopefully only ever do it once. If and when something occurs that seems like it’s the end of the world, just remember to breathe.  Take a moment, pour yourself a glass of wine, and just relax (and if I am your planner or friend-- give me a call and we will chat it through).

 

Whatever your coping mechanism, remember that the most important thing to keep in mind is that your end goal should never be to have the perfect day.  In fact if that is your goal, you are sure to be disappointed. I always try to remind my couples that no matter what happens, at the end of the day they’ll be married.  Things will come up-- they always do. But that’s life. The best laid plans won’t be perfect after the wedding, so what makes us think that this one day will be any different?

As a bride, one of my greatest takeaways was a piece of advice that my godfather shared with me just moments before escorting me down the aisle.  He told me to take every minute of the day in, and to truly appreciate all that had gathered around us to witness this day. Now for selfish reasons, I think that’s awesome advice (because it’s something that I say to my brides in every wedding that we do).  But he also shared something else, which I think is so important.

 

This day, tomorrow, and the rest of your life is now about you and this person who you are choosing to share it with.  It’s not about what your parents think, or what those around you believe. It won’t matter if you have the most beautiful flowers your guests have ever seen, or if, like us, you ran out of bourbon at a wedding full of men from Kentucky.  What matters is that at the end of this whole process, it’s not about having the most Pinterest perfect wedding. It’s about having a real wedding, with the person you’re starting this whole new life with.

 

So when people ask me dozens of questions about the wedding planning process, I always answer honestly.  Is it always perfect? Heck no. But will your wedding day still be one of the most amazing days of your life?  Absolutely. If you’d like for me to help make your big day just a bit more special and a lot less stressful-- I’d love for you to give us a call.

 

 

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