The time I accidentally said 'I love you' first
When A and I started dating, it didn’t take me long to realize that I was falling for him. Like, as in, the first date. Call it cheesy, romantic, ridiculous, or all of the above— but it’s how I felt.
He checked on me at the end of a busy day, listened when I needed to vent, and was always willing to do or try something new. Rather than making me apologize for long work days or running late, he just met me where I was at— and I quite literally, loved that.
When the literal shit hit the fan with all things coronavirus, and our industry came to a screeching halt, I was more than a little stressed. 13 of our 30 weddings of the year had already started conversations of rescheduling at that point, and we had already lost over 35K in corporate event sales. That was the environment he was walking into when he came to visit for the first time.
So let me set the stage: A gets into town, and I am equal parts very excited to see him, and terrified that every time I look at my phone, it’s another bride that is potentially rescheduling their dream wedding.
I also feel the need to interject that he is one of those people that runs. Like, all the time. For fun. Yeah I know, we’re overcoming it. So anyway, he gets off the train and within the first hour or so, he’s gone to change clothes and go for a run. Totally normal. So he is in the other room getting ready to leave and he says what I think is “I love you.”
You may have noticed that I used the word think…
Right. So he’s in the other room, says what I think is “I love you”, and in the cluster that is my reality, I say "I love you too"— at which point, he comes back into the room and said, “I said how are you?”
Ha. Haha. Someone pour me a glass of wine.
I’ve never said ‘I love you’ first y’all. Like, never. I’ve said ‘thank you’, ‘cool’, and ‘oh’ in response to I love you’s before— but I’ve never said it first.
So here I am, spiraling in every avenue of my life, and I’ve just told the guy that yes, I DO in fact love, that I love him. It’s fine. I’m fine.
So anyway… he leaves for his run and there’s this small part of me left wondering will he come back? Will he run BACK to Richmond? Should I buy his ticket back now or……
And then my brain just kind of went, Oh well!